Irish Weekend 2005 - Scumtooth Version by The Fox (Chris Dowling), Maverick (Vinny Day), and The Goose (Den Kilfeather)

Where do I begin?

The weekend started off at the lovely Hamilton Condominium Resort, As the Fox and I rolled into our room, members of two amazing bands Blue Collar & Scumtooth were congregating. Musical colleagues included the Torch, Crud, Joe Altomari, Nick Passio (the newly anointed “Germ”), Goose, Shooter, and Mumper, most likely conversing about recent political happenings, with brief intermissions full of Jager Bombs and beer bongs. Shortly after our arrival, several members of BC made their exit as they had to prepare for the 1st of three great shows. Joe Altomari managed to hang around for a few short minutes to loosen up a little with my Jager Bomb specialty…..3/4 cup Jager, ¼ cup Red Bull, much to the dismay of Crud we went ahead and banged down the 1st of many. The agony and looks on everyone’s face after this drink will forever remain in my mind…priceless. Needless to say, I was not allowed to make “Bombers” for the rest of the weekend.

For the next hour or so, we discussed current events and had several political/religious debates, again with short recesses full of debauchery including more bombers and beer pounding. 4’oclock rolls around and we decide to head down to the Beach House to rock out. Given the fact that it was still pretty early and many were still enroute to Wildwood, the Beach House was not filled to capacity. Nevertheless we moshed, poured beers on each other’s heads, and slammed down Jager Bomb’s while BCPA serenaded us with a three hour set. During this set, not only did the crowd get smashed, the band became severely intoxicated as they pretty much did a shot with every song that they sang, amazingly the performance lacked no energy at all. After the 1st set, the binge drinking continued, all of the BCPA members, several members of Scumtooth, Mumper, Fed, and Bri King spent well over $500 on booze (calculations were done), the Beach House actually had to stop giving the band free drinks as the amounts of Jager, and Jameson were dwindling. After a short break, the band took the stage once again, this time, the crowd became a little more rowdy. Shooter decided to take the stage with the band, he mumbled a few songs before falling down the side stairs where we found him in a pool of his own throw-up. Please note Shooter is up for “Most Drunken Person on the Island of Wildwood during Irish Weekend” award, he most definitely gets my vote! The music continued, the originals we all love in addition to several new covers, including “Take me Home Tonight” by Eddie Money, “Ocean Avenue” by Yellowcard, and my personal favorite “Helena” by My Chemical Romance…thank you again for that fellas! Unfortunately the show had to come to end. Blue Collar broke down their equipment, Scumtooth peeled Shooter off of the floor and we headed back to condo with one stop on the way. From a distance, Crud found a 13 year old female dribbling a basketball and decided it was “go-time” they battled for a grueling 30 minutes of intense dribbling skills, unfortunately the 13 year old female came out victorious. Crud vowed for a rematch but the girl’s parents swept her away as her Rocky Road ice cream cone was beginning to melt. You will get her next time Crud!!

It was now approximately 7:30 PM, and it was time for “Beer Bobbing,” this is where each contestant must bob for bottled beers from an ice cold cooler. Sadly it was a one on one match, contestants were the Fox and myself, the Fox gave it a go and was unsuccessful, breaking a tooth (luckily not his scumtooth) in the process. Next, I went in….6 minutes and 34 seconds later (with no air) I came out with the first ever successful beer bob! On the Fox’s next attempt, he vowed to either come out with a beer, or drown in the process. After 8 seconds of bobbing his upper Torso collapsed the cooler and the match was over. Following the match, the Fox and I decided to start a mosh pit in the room, until he severely sprained my ankle. The night continued for many, but for me the night was over…..after 9 hours of mayhem, I passed out in a pool of my own throw up…..More to come.

First portion of the day recalled by The Fox:

Though I thought I went back to the lovely Hamilton Condominium Resort & Puke Infested Party Pit (Courtesy of Scumtooth) for the night on Friday, turns out I went back out for some more partying because I woke up in Angelsea at Joe Murray (who coincidently is still in the hospital down in Cape May due to severe dehydration from excessive alcohol consumption) & Pat Kane’s place. They woke me up promptly at 7:00am by handing me a beer & cigarette screaming it’s party time!!! (and boy were they right). After greasing the wheels with a six-pack and left over Stromboli we headed over Brian Donovan’s Annual Irish Weekend Bagpipe Competition Party around 8:00am. The Goose and Shooter joined us around 9:00am for Bloody’s and Bagpipes. After I consumed about 10-15 Bloody Mary’s, Donovan realized that he didn’t need to add Vodka to the mix cause it was already in there (and this guy is supposed to be a bartender). Maverick came down to scoop us up (with a cab, Scumtooth never condones drinking and driving) after partying back at the Hamilton with: surprise, surprise more Jager bombs. So Maverick, The Goose, Shooter and I were on a mission to try to improve on our 0-200 all-time record vs. the TeleWacker (the TeleNut) at the #1 Stunner (The #1 Tavern). And Surprisingly I was knocked out in the very first round, they may have one that battle, but that wasn’t the last they seen of me that weekend (or day for that matter).

Second portion of the day recalled by Maverick:

After yet another defeat of the Fox by the one and only “Wacker.” The Goose, Shooter, and I greased up the doors of a Wildwood Taxi cab “Think Pink When you Drink,” (what a great slogan) and wedged the Fox inside. Anyway, Goose (the Wacker virgin), Shooter, and I (both Wacker veterans) polished off a few Tully Nut’s and stumbled through the Wildwood festival with chants of “Scumtooth 4 Ever,” along with a few “Toilet Water Rocks” chants thrown in (my side project, shout out to Sam for asking me to be head this project). Next, we head back to the “Scum Pitt,” to prepare for Saturday’ night’s festivities which would include yet another stellar performance by BCPA. The Odor back at the Pitt was nothing less then horrifying, as Crud had been hanging out slamming beers and passing flatulence throughout the day. We fought through the Odor and after approximately 20 minutes of blaring music, screaming, and dumping beers on the Fox’s head, he once again regained consciousness. For the first and last time of the 4 day weekend, members of Scumtooth SHOWERED!!! Sorry to disappoint loyal fans, but we had to do it, we have to please the ladies, but not to worry friends, we would not touch water again for the rest of the weekend. Following the showers, our merchandiser/hitman Eric Simpson (not yet named for ST) joined us in a barrage of Bombers, needless to say we were feeling good. About 8 of us piled into a cab (how the hell that is possible with three Dowling’s, I will never know), the muffler dragged on the ground and we headed for our destination, the hotspot of the weekend “The Beach House.” Now this is where things get blurry, and we need assistance from the BCPA fans to help us out with details of the night, seeing as none of the ST members can recall any of the happenings of the night. What I do remember is the Beach House was PACKED with all BCPA fans, fans from the beginning as well as fresh new faces who I’m sure will be there for the long haul. I have flashes of BCPA hits, including “Microphone,” “Driving in the Wrong Direction,” and a loud roar when “Letters for Grey,” was played. These songs coupled with classics such as Jameson, and “Wildwood” to please the local crowd had the place ROCKIN!!! These flashbacks are mirrored with images of Shooter once again performing onstage with the band because he would, as he said “Not be outdone by the dueche mitten onstage.” Apparently, there was a random person rocking out onstage, but who could blame the arbitrary fan, as the band was on-point once again. In the crowd I have vague memories of the hitman (Eric Simpson) moshing all over the place while dumping beers on random unlucky girls head’s. My suggestion to the people standing in front of the stage “GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GET KNOCKED OVER OR HAVE DRINKS SPILLED ON YOU.” You don’t see Nancy complaining as she jumps around knocking people all over the place (namely Jackie), the girl knows how to have a good time, we had to lift her off the floor on more then one occasion. With the end of there excellent set, I will end my rant, as I once again blacked out and have no further recollection of the night…….Long live the BCPA/Scumtooth family!!!!…….MAVERICK

Please update the guestbook with any funny or notable events from this night as Scumtooth has no real collective memory from this night. One thing I do sort of remember after Crud & Eric Simpson (merchandiser/hitman) reminded was insisting to let one of the beer tub girls on the street to let me “bob for my beer” instead of her handing it to me so I could redeem myself. However, I did not get to redeem myself because one of North Wildwood’s finest told me he would let me do it (because he thought it would be funny) but he would have to arrest me afterwards. And because I did not want to spend the rest of the weekend in one of those cold ass cells (because I still had a lot of partying left in me) I did not do it, but there’s always this weekend. Stayed tuned for the exciting conclusion of Irish Weekend…Bigtime, The Fox.

Well the day started off and I felt like one big steaming pile of dung, as did everyone else. Walking out of the bedroom I would trip over a human head that I had neglected to see, as it was sticking out from under a kitchen table…It turns out the Goose had literally drank himself under the table…Good job Goose!!!! Next it’s off to the bathroom where I believed I could make myself feel better by jamming three fingers down my throat in hopes I could puke up last night’s booze and pizza….sadly it didn’t help. Seeing that I wasn’t the only person suffering through insomnia, the Fox, the Goose, Crud, Shooter, Katie L, and I decided to get some breakfast from the notorious “Vegas Diner.” Throughout breakfast all I could think about was “how the hell am I gonna get home today”(I’m not allowed to drive in Jersey). Following our not so magnificent breakfast, we headed back to the hotel, rather excruciating for me as my ankle was still severely in pain from the Fox landing on it the previous night while bobbing for beers. Nevertheless, we walked….enroute back to the Scum Pitt, we stumbled upon a bar named Woody’s. The Goose had the great idea of stopping in for “one” Bloody Mary, the Fox and Shooter eyes light up like a kid on Christmas), whereas Katie and myself thought badly of the idea and denied the Goose’s request. The two of us leave them at the bar for their “one” drink and head back. While relaxing we hear a loud noise, think of lightning or a gun-shot. Turns out someone was on the toilet and let one rip louder then I had previously thought imaginable, this person will remain nameless as the embarrassment may cause him to kill me. Subsequently, our friend the hitman/merchandiser Eric Simpson comes pounding on the door because he wants to party (remember it is still 8 am). This coupled with the fact the room smelled like the Tim (no longer a member of Scumtooth or the Dowling family, banished from both for Un-Scumman like conduct) after an 8 hour stint at the Chinese Buffet, brought me to the realization it was “go-time” once again. Approximately 8:05 am on Sunday, Eric and I stumble into Woody’s to see our colleagues slugging down “Make your own Bloody Mary’s,” we decide to join them. Needless to say my Bloody Mary tasted like a$$, please remember the 1st Jager Bomb of the weekend I made….my drinks aren’t the best. So I traded in my BM (whereas the Fox would finish off my asswater tasting Bloody) for a superb pint of Guinness, after about 12 of them I was feeling like a million bucks. Throughout the course of the morning we started to booze heavier and heavier, as you can guess the Fox was the ringleader. Chris began slugging down Car Bombs, like their was no tomorrow, subsequently he would chase each Car Bomb w/ a Jager Bomb…it was a beautiful sight to see! Amazingly, the Goose would follow suit was several Jager Bombs of his own, please remember folks, this kid is a rookie. As expected Shooter would join in with a few Jager bombs as well as car bombs, where Crud would only take down double or triple shots of Tequila…what a lovely breakfast! Eric and I were a little slow in joining the iniquity of shots at 8:30 in the a.m., however this would not last long as we would not be shown up by our fellow musicians. Shortly after we would follow suit and mix it up a little with a few bombers, otherwise be banished from the Scumtooth crew into a life of normalcy….and who the hell wants that? The shots flowed in this heavenly place called “Woody’s,” “I'm talkin about a place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.” If you don’t know what movie that is from please come to the Green Lantern’s Lair tomorrow so we can smash your head inside the cooler while you bob for beers. Sorry for digressing, back to my rant. Somehow we got a couple of lovely women to join us, them being Megan Hannigan, Katie L, and Jackie, and of the three would join in on the mayhem. I actually think I saw them doing “Prairie Fire” shots, can I get confirmation on that? The alcohol flowed for several more hours, at one point the Fox asked the bartender (shoutout to Sean) if he could drink straight from the tap, Sean just doing his job would certainly deny my rather “husky” friend. Visibly upset, the Fox ordered 4 shots of “toilet water” in honor of my side project…again he was denied. At this point the Fox was steaming so he threw down 8 car bombs to soothe his temper (and remember with every car bomb there was a Jager to follow) . Right around game time, Nick and the Torch of Blue Collar decided to join us. The torch visibly hurting from the previous night, sipped his Yeungling while Nick was more then happy to join in on the Bombers. Nick got word that their was an open spot for a drummer in Scumtooth, immediately he made way to the GLORIOUS Woody’s men’s room, where he racked his brain and strained his cornhole for more then an hour trying to come up with a Scumtooth title….he re-emerged with his extremely appealing Scumtooth title….GERM! The vote was unanimous, GERM was the newest member of Scumtooth….I ASK EVERYONE TO CONGRATULATE GERM NEXT TIME U SEE HIM, most likely at the show tomorrow night at Pat’s Shamrock. We would soon loose a soldier to extreme intoxication….the Fox went down. However, the party would rage on while the Eagles would beat on the Raiders, with every TD the eagles scored we would all do Jager Bombs. The day just got sloppier and sloppier……OK again this is where Scumtooth loses all memory of what happened (again), if you know please fill us in... Maverick

This is The Fox signing off on behalf of Maverick, The Goose, Shooter, Crud, Eric the Hitman/Merchandiser, The Torch, BCPA/Scumtooth, all their loyal fans and groupies (by the way there are still some groupie spots open), and everyone who partied with us down Irish Weekend. We had a blast and we hope everyone else did too. Oh yeah by the way the unnamed person who blew up the toilet like a bomb was none other than Crud (good job Pat). And we will be updating this page as we remember more and more. Party Bigtime, The Fox.